EJWW

duhdoydorothy:

cress-cross:

britticisms:

I love that people assume that you dress for them, as if your choices are informed by their opinions. This is not just about men versus women. This is about everyone believing the world acts according to what makes people comfortable. 

I’ve written about this in the past, but it is my firm belief that this mindset is born out of others’ lack of comfort in themselves. Because this only “matters” (and only warrants comment) when you notice. And to notice is to compare, to see the differences, to be fascinated by them. 

Underneath all of this is the fact that what one person finds comfortable another person does not. I do not wear a lot of jeans. Never have, never really will. I’ve been the same height and (more or less) around the same size since I was in the 6th grade. Imagine that feeling of trying to look like everyone else and not physically being able to wear their clothes. Imagine trying to wear girls clothes and realizing your shape was not meant for these cuts. 

For some, it’s a moment of defeat. For myself, it was a challenge. What do I really love? What can I call my own? I cannot fit into what they say is right, so I will fit into what is right for me. It’s a hidden sort of freedom, a forced radical individuality. Style by circumstance. I was eleven in the 6th grade. 15 years later, what I wear is a reflection of those feelings, that acceptance. I would not have it any other way. 

I feel this. There was a point early on in my career where I wore clothes that were more business casual and relaxed, with  business suit exceptions when I had meetings outside of the office, etc. but I was criticized pretty heavily about being too fashion forward ( although I was wearing the same banana republic jumpoffs as the rest of them, wasn’t guilty of wearing clogs and jeans like some folks) but it was really more so a conversation about my body and how my clothes looked on it, ” shouldn’t you hide your curves? Why not model yourself like Kelly(size 4, thin and athletic)”

These last two years I’ve gone above and beyond the dress code. Heels every day, pencil skirts, silk blouses, tailored clothes etc. If I was going to have to make a change ( there’s a whole other conversation about naivety, when to push back, where to compromise) I was going to come from a place of total empowerment. I was going to look amazing and overdressed every day.  “oh, you look nice. where are you going?” is now the comments I often get at work, sometimes snidely and you know what, I draw a lot of personal strength from that kind of ownership of my own style the OP talks about. It’s my armor that no one can take away.

bolded for truthfullness